i'm having trouble recalling the last time it was warm enough to force me into applying sunscreen to my asian skin. this upsets me.
i over-estimate my influence, my strength and my importance. not everything is a two way street - sometimes it's just a dingy selfish little one way. and i'm so blinded by the what-if's and could-be's that they become my future. herein lies the problem - mine, not ours.
complications are inevitable. trial and error seems to be the only way in which i intend to live life, because by the time you've adapted to the rules and grown accustomed to the conditions, the game has changed and your opponents are more fierce than the last. and there's no choice but to trust your teammates.
maybe this is why i've never been good at team sports.
direction gives us a goal, and provides our lives with purpose. every day should be meaningful, filled to the brim with moments that add to something significant. as of late, life has ceased to provide me with joy in the little things, because the little things fail to exist or demand to be noticed anymore. and the big things, well, the big things are just one enormous headache. unless we let go of what is restricting us, freedom is not an option. we can experience things, but there is always a sacrifice we have to be willing to make. if this weren't so, there would be no worth in what we aim to do.
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