Thursday, June 2, 2011

presence*

We get together with people because they're the same or because they're different, and in the end we split with them for exactly the same reasons.

- Nick Hornby Juliet, Naked

This is so simply put, and yet boy does it contain as many seeds to grow rants as there are Christians in the world. It's like how when you're friends with somebody, their ticks and quirks and annoying-as-hell habits evaporate, yet when you realise they used your eraser without asking or sat with a girl you hate at little lunch, all of a sudden there is nothing you want more than to spread endless amounts of cream cheese on their face.

There is little that I find harder to achieve in life than unconditional love, yet that is contradictory in itself because anything unconditional shouldn't be hard work. It shouldn't be pressured or reckoned with, it shouldn't be like trying to fit a two tonne boulder through a pasta machine (which, admittedly, I sometimes feel happens in relationships). 

So you pride yourself on finding someone who shares the same interests as yourself, same taste in music, same appreciation for films that you enjoy and have similar goals in life, career or otherwise. But the fights begin, and suddenly you can't stand that they know you better than you know yourself, or that they can predict what will make you fly off the handle and be more accurate than the FIFA World Cup octopus. And everything about them becomes a catalyst for you to despise them, and put it down to "our personalities were just too similar". So then what? If it doesn't work out, and you've put in all the effort you feel it deserves or that you're capable of, do you fix it all in your mind by reassuring yourself that you'll find it with somebody else? What if you don't?

And that's the most frightening bit of all. It's not losing what we have right now, whether it's "it" or not - it's what if we don't?

* A MILLION GOLD STARS FOR YOU

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