ten minutes (in your pants)

I like the person I become when I'm travelling - curious, exhilarated and eager (something I never am, apart from on my resume). It has a way of bringing out the best in me, a personality that is hindered when faced with too much familiarity. I am able to enjoy solitude to an even greater extent, discover you don't have to be lonely when you are alone. To be free of petty obligations and the expectations that come hand in hand with social responsibilities that I could all too quickly release a number two on. Things suddenly seem more achievable, more within reach; even if we have yet to establish what it is that we are dreaming of. And that's why there is joy in discovering new ways to bring about an abundance of happiness in your life. For some, smiles lie in the simple things. But for others, there is no venturing beyond the superficial and that which, to me, resembles fish scales. And all I want to do is scrape it all away, but something tells me that sooner or later I will fail to care about the emotional capacity and catalysts of happiness of others. Because we're all too busy trying to figure it out for ourselves, and we all hit a point where we realise that genuine consideration is impossible to extend to all, and purely reserved for those whom we deem to be deserving. Good things in life should never be, and never are, forced.

It's so dissatisfying to come across as something other than what we wish to portray - but more importantly, how we really are (or believe to be. I also cannot pinpoint my obsession with discussing this issue, but probably because I have time and again failed at this in reality and am somehow trying to redeem myself.) We retrace our steps and our words with the knowledge and regret that opportunities to display our innermost selves were responded with half-hearted attempts to not only establish almost two decades of background, but to make it known that we are aware that the next two decades to come will be affected by this past. Then again, people are constantly either choosing to reminisce or trying to forget the past, neither of which do us any good or aid the problem currently at hand.