peek a boo

cityrail should think about investing in signage discouraging horny behaviour upon frigid girls, particularly on a crowded service. it's sickening, nauseating even, and that's not just because i'm a bitter party of one.

when you're in year 1 and you're told to write a narrative, you have to cover all your 5 W's: who, what, when, where, why. but they always seem to leave out how, mainly because it doesn't start with W, but more recently it's occurred to me that it's the one we have to figure out on our own, regardless of the situation.

somebody keeps misspelling my name on the sportsgirl roster, apparently it's "vivvien" and it's starting to look somewhat appealing and exotic.

please don't hurt me

i have found something that gets my heart racing faster sephora. and i would much rather be run down by a car or ten tonne truck (the smiths, anyone?) than come face to face + beak with a crow, or magpie, or any other bird for that matter. i am beyond petrified of birds, the way they flap their wings, and i know that they have to do that otherwise they will drop to the ground like a sack of beans, but what is wrong with just sitting in your nest or having your nest actually be a burrow 10 feet into the ground? but i have to be careful to draw the line between hate and terror. because repeating (or more like chanting) "please don't hurt me" as i ran home this afternoon, clutching clumps of hair and my bunch of keys, instilled within me a fear that i personally think will be my strongest motivation to get my license. (my tactic is to wave the keys around my head in a circular motion so the jingling will scare the bird away, if you're wondering.) you see, a certain crow has taken to perching on the roofs of buildings and branches of trees on my regular route to and from the train station. which was why, in the days of facebook, i never joined the "i hate birds/magpies/crows" group, because their knowledge of my hate would drive them to peck the flesh out of the back of my neck. and yes, they know. just like cats know. there is something so unnerving about having things loiter behind the back of my head or the nape of my neck, which is the part of my anatomy which i most worry about coming in contact with anything at all. and has anybody noticed the growing population of ibises? where are they coming from? have they suddenly become the rabbits of the bird kingdom? or more like the homeless of the bird kingdom, because they're the only ones who balance on rubbish bins with their behinds in the air, but maybe it's something about the feathers of ibises which retain nose-wrinkling smells. and i know musicians i love are really into black crows and what they symbolise, like HELLO down the way, and it features on both of passenger's album covers. but try something else, preferably something that isn't an animal nor an allergy-stimulating plant.

and to all the people who leave urine splattered across the seats of public toilets - are you serious? try comparing YOUR hole to the hole in the toilet bowl, and you will see that there is no reason as to why you should miss. unless you're squatting, in which case i say DON'T.

"meant to be"

what is that? another one of those phrases that manages to pull down any piece of writing or script or lyric to a less than mediocre level, a weak stab at imitating something powerfully great or life-changing. "if it's meant to be, it'll happen." screw your destiny and fate that's written in the stars. and it's pathetic, really, to think that people gloss over their daily lives and turn them into emotions on pedestals, worth complaining about to anyone who has the ears to hear it. things carry worth only measured by relativity - people strive to find comfort and satisfaction, and then wonder why nothing in their life is beyond the bland mugginess of grey porridge.

i accidentally typed in "womenofquestionablemorals.logspot.com" and up came this page about God and repentance and women who literally live by questionable morals.

apparently i'm a fairy

i have come to the conclusion that eating is a much more efficient way of solving the issue of procrastination, as you must remain more or less upright whilst doing so, and once you've eaten enough it has been proven impossible to nap due to the discomfort of hours of food inching its way back into your mouth. and as i sit here with my icecream cone in one hand and typing with the other, i notice that my S and D keys have been used so much they've faded, and none of the others have.

and someone tell me why it still hasn't gotten hot enough to not have to wear pants yet? this is a disappointing year to showcase my new underwear.