black lingerie

it's a strange sensation feeling your body move without your full consent or knowledge, like you're walking away from something and walking towards something else without your mind being entirely sure of it. it's almost my stop i should put my bookmark in and take my ipod out and stand up without making a fool of myself by falling onto yet another unsuspecting victim and before i know it i'm out the hissing doors of the grubby tangara carriage. i dislike the way in which authors at times feel the need to ramble on for pages about a certain character or event that logically gives the rest of the book context but ignores the fact that in reality i don't care for context, or gail wynand for that matter. i think the only thing i like more than eating would be to prepare food that will later be eaten, not necessarily by me but by someone who will enjoy it. or on par with that, watching that process unfold on television. i like looking at macaroons more so than i enjoy eating them. maybe, just maybe, i don't actually like the things that i think i do. let's take a moment to reflect upon these wise words -

LORELAI: And then I thought, "maybe their freak-outs are like some kind of compass for me" you know like, "I know I'm doing what I want to do if it freaks them out." And then I thought, "what if I don't want to do what I want to do because I want to do it, but because they don't want me to?"

RORY: Huh?

LORELAI: I mean what if I don't like what I like because I like it, but because my mother doesn't like it and doesn't want me to like it? What if I don't actually like the music that I like or the movies or the clothes or the men? What if I don't like what I seem to like?

RORY: Ah, hence the pop-tart.

LORELAI: Yes. Hence. I can remember the first time I had a pop-tart. It was at my friend Erica Catcha's house, and she said, “Do you want a pop-tart?" And I knew my mother would recoil at the very idea of me having a pop-tart. I could just picture her. [Emily voice] "A pop-tart?!" [normal voice] And so, I had one. And I opened the little silver wrapper, and I took a bite, and I thought nothing had ever tasted so good. I thought it tasted like freedom. It tasted like I was my own person. The pop-tart tasted like freedom and rebellion and independence.

RORY: Wow. That's some pop-tart. What flavor was that?