the library is so peaceful, watching people absorbed in some of the most useless things ever to be taught. of course, many people would argue that these things we spend ridiculous amounts of time, energy and money on aren't useless at all - not to the economy, or the wellbeing of society, or the environment in fifty seven years. but really, are you fucking kidding? so what if we learn to understand how a lawn mower eats your weeds, or we finally manage to grasp the concept of some shitty law concerning kinetic whatever movement? people gain recognition for their ability to persevere through the most soul-deadening years of their lives, learning things they don't want to learn. and if they do find joy in such nonsense, they despise anyone who tells them that it's all a SUNK COST and more or less pages and hours of something i'd get more joy out of sprinkling hundreds and thousands onto triangular slices of buttered bread for the rest of my existence. at least it's colourful. and the best part of all, is that it's all self-inflicted. because if you don't know where you want to be, you can't get there, but where do you go in the meantime? spend day after day deciding what's better than spending day after day deciding something you know nothing of? spending your time somewhere that may not even share the same postcode with anything you wish to achieve, ever? i watch time go by and i think wow, what a waste - but even if i spent this time doing something worthwhile, the moment would pass and the clock would still tick if you remembered to keep track of its battery life. and if you could capture a moment you thought to be perfect like a firefly in a jar (i still don't understand why people do this) you would appreciate its beauty until, like everything else, it becomes obsolete and nothing more than a memory touched upon once in ten, maybe twenty years.
